"On the south side of the island, there is a very unusual stratum of exposed alluvial rock. May masonry
A freemason found himself a contestant on the popular tv show "mastermind". Buy a cat. Well, said the Mason. May Brotherly love, the basis of Freemasonry, not only continue and increase amongst ourselves, but amongst all ranks and conditions of men in every nation around the globe. E-MAIL = DMcclymont@gautengleg.gov.za, A Mason's wife once asked him why he learned all his workings in the toilet. Wow, I said, What does he do?
"I can't do that!!!" The local Blue Lodge is the place where you and your Freemason friends begin your Masonic careers. God bless the Rangers! COMMITTEES Thank you brothers for the tools and mental stimulation to assist in my duty to toast the ladies. The following morning the daughter went out to the farmyard where her father was attempting to coax his bull to satisfy the obvious yearnings of a neighbouring farmer's young heifer. Junior Wardens Toast Happy to Meet, Sorry to Part,
There is this Guy out at sea in a small boat, rough weather and it overturns, as he's bobbing about a life boat appears, as they called out, he said its ok I am a Royal Ark Mariner God will look after me, and refused thier help, after a short while a helicopter is overhead lowering a rope and again the guy says its ok I am a Royal Ark Mariner God will look after me,the guy refuses their help. Where do you live?" He was duly tried and sentenced to hang
The Junior Warden's duties are less important; he observes the time, and calls the lodge from labor to refreshment, and from refreshment back to labor in due season, at the orders of the Master. JEWEL: His Jewel of Office The Junior Wardens Toast: Worshipful Master. May every Mason rise in the East, find refreshment in the SOUTH, and be, so dismissed in the WEST, as to find admission into the middle chamber to receive the reward of a GOOD MAN.
other. Knowing the festive atmosphere of such occasions I posted a request on the Internet soliciting favorite Masonic toasts. Could you please provide me with examples of the Toast to the Ladies, can you assist in preparing a toast to the immediate past master please, something beffitting a brother who has been in the chair for 2 years. Now these were men who believed in and practiced the tenets and principles of Freemasonry. Steve, By the time the Lord made women, he was into his sixth day of working overtime. "Brethren, today's work in the temple put me in mind of the first time I ever met Brother Fred. "My Porsche, my beautiful red Porsche is ruined. One night, the Sovereign Grand-Inspector General of the 33rd degree in full, came to join the lodge members. And if youve any Blessing left Lord, because of the state he was in, but wondered if he had been with another women,
gardein, from warden to guard dated around the 13th century. y and then went over to the ball, Picked it up and exclaimed " It's a gimme !!!
That particular bird is exceptional because the does the whole second part of the Third Degree and he sells for $1,000.
", At the monthly Building Socirety meeting much discussion raged about the problem of mice in the Lodge building. MWB P.C.S. Daniel Hoehr MM, Beethoven zur ewigen Harmonie Nr 742, GNML 3WK (within
: Brethren, it gives me special pleasure to call for a toast to our Lodge; the Lodge so close to the hearts of its members, commanding through long years an interest and loyalty "Moses?" As they walked into the house, she said casually, "It's not much, but I call it home. Our fellow took that dog.
The Junior Warden is the 3rd in line within the Masonic lodge hierarchy and helps the lodge to run smoothly, both at labor and at refreshment. Fortunately, such occurrences are far and few in .
GRANDLODGE = Alberton Lodge, no.
From the lady whom he worships, He whizzed past Augusta and was now about an hour or so away. All regularly constituted lodges throughout the globe. (E-MAIL) sax_7@yahoo.com, One day a Doctor was asked to give a Jewish fellow a physical. Finally he said, "All the mice are gone." NAME = Siddharth Dhawan
GLNY & GLCT, From Australia, the toast is in the form of a poem called. the First Masonic District under the administrations of P.M.W.G.M.s Howard Acooe, #48 and Rev. ASSISTANT OFFICER: In Then to our final Toast tonight, our glasses freely drain. He is in charge of selecting Masonic Mentors. Used to four-star hotels, this guy had no idea what to do. ready to correct our own faults than to publish the errors of a brother. May we be guided to happiness by wisdom, supported in virtuous resolutions by strength and may beauty adorn our beds. grandlodge: Grand Lodge of Ireland, The Worshipful Master directed that the Lodge Deacons wear less aftershave in future, as the Candidate who had just been initiated that evening, when asked if he had felt comfortable during the ceremony,replied,"I was a bit worried for the first five or ten minutes, but the woman behind me was very helpful in keeping me from staggering! She feels sorrow at the loss of a family member, yet is strong when she thinks there is no strength left. ", Sent by :
Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard,
"Well", our fellow said, "he might be experienced, but all he's doing is sitting there and barking! said, "All the mice are gone." May the
May the
degrade the man.
), lodge: Mad River # 77
forgotten to phone, and she did not believe his story about staying with a brother
"OK," said the WM, "I've always wanted to go to Hawaii, but I hate to fly. ", A Mason was stopping overnight in the home of a Masonic colleague,a farmer. Call an exterminator. grandlodge: Grand Lodge of England. Try him and if you don't like him, feel free to come back." Five minutes later, the police arrive. "License and registration, please," the trooper said. "It's not too bad, but he doesn't seem to be very experienced. The
he did. Trondheim, NORWAY. Has to do with how quickly alcohol enters the bloodstream B. Being a mason he realized that the skeletons were positioned as a Masonic Lodge. before the sentence was executed, the hangman asked the man if he had
You lot are so focused on your possessions that you don't notice anything else in your life." Whose lady is a treasure,
May the
was running extremely late and really didn't want to disappoint his Brethren in Maine's second largest city. as in the former instance the brother's answer was "pass". beauty and CERnEMONY OF CLOSING A Lonee- OF EN- glory of the day, so stands the Junior Warden TERED AprrENsscEs. To all the members of the ancient and honorable craft. hangman replies: "Calm down Brother and step off with your left foot! The bus driver says: That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. One particularly cold winter's evening, MWB P.C.S. I just want her to see what happens to a guy who doesnt drink, doesnt smoke and hasnt joined the Masons!, name: Stewart Brass
Cincinnati, OH, USA And darn it, she was right, but how did she know?
Did you use my idea of a cat? not work; - 1 to pass the problem on to the
May the Bible rule and guide us through life; the square, square our actions, and the compasses circumscribe the bounds which we are to keep with all mankind, especially with a Brother. she would be eternally gratefull. all free-masons be spent in acts of true piety highly seasoned with tranquility. the jail. May every Mason be obedient to all lawful orders of his superiors, friendly to his equals, and condescending to his inferiors. Why not incorporate "A Ladies Toast". ", the Brother asked, "I haven't got any dog that is more experienced than this one." The
He gives the date and the records are examined. May every Freemasons heart have the freedom of chalk, the fervency of charcoal, the zeal of friendship; but not the hardness of marble, when a distressed brother makes his demand. Was that cold in January! He asked the desk clerk "What is that man doing with that sword?" Hartington Lodge No. His reply: "That's the only properly tiled room in the house. he said "how much
Ronald M Goldwyn, Worshipful J de la Verriere at 212 832 3799 in new york City. Fraser asked for her faith, but to no end, still hounding and every second he's home there's no rest for the newly invested..
Trying to hide his continued amazement, the man accepted, and they sat down on her couch to talk. May the tongue of every Freemason be the faithful Interpreter of his heart, so that he may never be under the necessity of abandoning candor or hiding himself behind the mask of dissimulation. (NAME) Richard Saxby Jr.
Verified answer. "Tell me," she began suggestively, slithering closer to him, "We've been out here for a very long time.
brother have a heart to feel, and a hand to give. After weeks of the looks & the bitter talk, Fraser gives in. Success to every Mason, who stands plumb to his principles, yet on a level with his Brethren. When I was JW, I would just often give off the cuff but . It must be remembered that a Warden acting as a Master is still a Warden, and is so acting simply in the discharge of one of the duties of his office. name: W.Bro Vic Gillam
Wilf Rawlinson M.M. Since our order was founded, we have enjoyed receiving . Did she have a way of sneaking in the Lodge and spying on us? Yes, we may from time to time disagree with one another, but we are still brothers, and at the end of the day, as long as we continue to respect and trust each other, mere disagreements can never stand in the way of true brotherhood and friendship.
After due thought, he said
MWB P.C.S. any last words. ", Sent by :
Finally he
"In Freeport you met my brother Jubila; in Waterville you met my brother Jubilo; but me, my name is Jubilum and what I purpose I perform." May every Mason endeavor to attain a thorough knowledge of himself. J.W. His writings are well known on the Internet and are humorous, educational, and at times controversial. One of them has a piece of paper in his hand, He removed the paper and read
It's too far, the water is too deep, it's just totally beyond anybody's power.
Abbreviation.
A rather nervous master in my province closing his lodge "Have all the pages of the evening been weighed?" Two shells honed to a hollow-ground edge were fastened to its tip, inside a swivel mechanism. ancient craft.
came out as Master BAITERS. ", Sent by :
After an hour or so (with the candidate dropping numerous Masonic
espied a gentleman below walking his dog across a field. And worth her weight in gold;
lodge: Harp and Crown M.L.No.60
May all
You have no idea what she can endure or accomplish.. ", the other asked. He nearly jumped out of his pants !!
The hangman puts the noose
cuff links.
(NAME) Rob Jones-Cook
A womans heart breaks when a friend dies. She rowed up to him. We happen to pass a pet shop. Australia, Toast to Grand Lodge
May covetous
St.Andrew Lodge St. Eystein
very calmly and with just the hint of a grin on his face and replied. !" Wait until tomorrow to finish., No, the Lord protested, I am so close to finishing this creation that is so close to my own heart. May we never meet an old friend with a new face. You thought of everything; woman is truly amazing, yes, truly amazing.. Moses?" [1841, Toastmaster] free-mason desire plenty, but with the benevolent view to relieve the indigent. The Senior Warden attends the District Schools of instructions. I asked the lodge organist for a simple Masonic song that they would all know, rewrote the words, and sang it, getting them to join in with the chorus.
judge inquired to what he referred. "I
"It's a very good dog", he said, "he knows a lot about hunting and you can trully rely on him".
name: JP Bernard
His interviewer replied, "We'll halve it and you begin. May all
The JD opens the door and see's to his amazement, a brother impecably dressed with an elaborate apron and jewels about his chest. May it be deeply impressed on the heart of every Mason, that there is no real felicity for man, except in reforming his errors and vices and entering upon a strict and constant course of virtue.
Two non Masons were passing a lodge after have quite a few drinks. May the
had to leave his home near Portland for a speaking engagement in Bangor, normally a little over a couple of hours away.
May no
In the winter they met once a month on the full moon (for the extra light at night since there was no such thing as electrification yet). creates harmony within the lodge and promotes the brotherhood of its members. judge was a Mason and you're bloody Junior Deacon in my Lodge!" Isnt it obvious? replied the SW. Were brethren of the mystic tie, and we simply followed the landmarks of the order!. with the smiles of prosperity, nor too much dejected with the frowns of
May they square their lives by the strictest regard to the rules of morality, and regulate their conduct by the plumb line of equity, so that when any of them shall be consigned to the silent grave, it may be inscribed on his tomb here lies a good man..
The WM was overjoyed to greet them. A candidate was received with a sharp instrument and after the explanation why, the SD has having a hard time taking the candidate by the left arm.
"Moses," replied the bird. You wont always agree with him, but Tim will definitely get you thinking. This is a holdover from earlier days, which still remains as part of his job description, even though in most U.S. jurisdictions, alcohol is barred from the lodge. May we strive to resemble our divine Master, in promoting as far possible the happiness of all mankind and when we cannot succeed, may it be for want of ability, never for want of inclinations. inner workings, but will always promp you when you learning it", "no to much,
He found this cavern contained a great many skeletons.
The farmer's daughter as she walked away was heard to say, "Another bloody Mason!!! name: Edd Alexander
lodge: Mannford #515
Sheepishly, the man confessed that he had been sleeping on the beach the whole time. brother learn to live within the compass, and watch upon the square. In the cold winter months when the wind would howl and the snow would pile up, the little pot bellied wood burning stove kept them warm and cozy as they conducted their monthly meetings. To steal the builders secrets,
Tel Aviv, Israel. You are a genius, Lord. MWB P.C.S. May unity, friendship, and brotherly love, ever distinguish the brethren of the
and sits - Brother Inner Guard, see who wants admission. May every Freemason ever be actuated by its divine precepts.
the Worshipful Master
Sent by :
Junior Warden - Jokes/Toasts.
As he's getting out of the car, a lorry comes speeding along too close to the kerb and takes off the door before speeding off. E-MAIL = allan.taylor@ukonline.co.uk, One night Rabbie Burns (Scottish Bard) was at a night out when he saw this gorgeous woman. Province Name. He then asked the Post Master if he wanted hear a very funny joke about
"What next?" of Vitruvius, Angelo, Wren, and. Upon entering a Masonic Lodge, the first object which typically attracts one's attention is the altar, situated in the center of the room, midway between the East and West; directly opposite the South. Brethren, a toast to our Brother (Name)! Warden being a more expert workman looked at it seccond, and said " That is
Alex Harper
party rage, and insolence, be for ever rooted out from among masons. used to have speaking engagements all around the state. GRANDLODGE = Unity Lodge 710 Grand Lodge of Canada. name a 160lb Rottweiler Jesus.
sit there and go, tut!
Finally, as Mrs. Tibbetts was lying on her death bed waiting to take her last breath, WB Jones, then Master of the Lodge, paid her a visit. "It's only me," she said, "and the rowboat didn't wash up nothing did." free-mason be distinguished by the internal ornament of an upright heart. Prospective candidate: "What do you mean "WALKERS"
Golden eggs to
Well, Mrs. Tibbets looked up at the perplexed and frustrated man and smiled. frivolous distinction be buried in oblivion. "Jesus is watching you." Come, fill up
The next day in the post she received 64 letters. 's robing room , shouting, W.M., there is a case of Syphilis in the Lodge.The W.M.
member of the Craft. Once again, MWB P.C.S. You will have to make another wish." May masonry
(GRANDLODGE) Seneca River #160 Grand Lodge of New York
May virtue ever
the left arm and said,"Take one advancing step with your left foot. Contact Us.
"Sir, I am P.C.S., the current Grand Master of Masons in Maine, and I am going to be very late for a meeting in Bangor. !function(d,s,id){var js,fjs=d.getElementsByTagName(s)[0];if(!d.getElementById(id)){js=d.createElement(s);js.id=id;js.src="//platform.twitter.com/widgets.js";fjs.parentNode.insertBefore(js,fjs);}}(document,"script","twitter-wjs"); COLLECTION of MASONIC HUMOR & JOKES
Well then, the Junior Warden look at the put and told her it was uphill and broke to the right. No longer questioning anything, the man went into the bathroom. Full text of "Small Collection Of Masonic Visitors Toasts" See other formats A small collection of Visitor's Toasts From various sources It is a pleasure for me to have this opportunity to propose a toast to our visiting brethren. The woman tore her clothes off and the had a passionate night together.