This cookie is set by the provider The Guardian. The test_cookie is set by doubleclick.net and is used to determine if the user's browser supports cookies. He was regarded as one of the most important and influential stand-up comics of all time. Known for his lack of patience for bullshit, the comedian regularly skewered all politicians, the election of Donald Trump as president. Broadly speaking. I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, There is no I in team. What you should tell them is, Maybe not. LinkedIn sets this cookie to remember a user's language setting. Enter your email address to follow Motley News. ", 48. They own all the important land. "One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. AddThis sets this cookie to track page visits, sources of traffic and share counts. "Although I broke a lot of laws as a teenager, I straightened out immediately upon turning eighteen, when I realized the state had a legal right to execute me. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. "Religion is like a pair of shoes: Find one that fits for you, but don't make me wear your shoes. George Carlin Philosophy, Real, Lying 192 Copy quote I've set my own rules to live by. "I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. Theyre not interested in that. "We have multiplied our possessions but reduced our values. ", 112. The session information includes the identity of the user, recently visited links and the duration of inactivity. They dont want people who are smart enough to sit around a kitchen table and think about how badly theyre getting fucked by a system that threw them overboard 30 fuckin years ago. "The things that matter in this country have been reduced in choice, there are two political parties, there are a handful insurance companies, there are six or seven information centers, but if you want a bagel there are 23 flavors. You don't. You have no choice. '", 78. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do. "There are women named Faith, Hope, Joy, and Prudence. They don't pass through a membrane from another reality. And if somehow, you must join, if its unavoidable, such as a union or a trade association, go ahead and join. You have owners. Answer (1 of 16): He hated mostly all politicians. George Carlin quotes and jokes about politics and religion "Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. and if you want to make this about "comedy" then Carlin should tell these things called "jokes". Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. He saw it from a . Every now and then you find yourself in a different place. '", 70. Transcribed part of speech begins at 10.33 13 May 1999, National Press Club, Washington DC, USA This is an incomplete transcript made by Raven Developers . When you see the documentary, you'll see this, but the evolution of Carlin wasn't just . Its so fuckin heroic. George Carlin, If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? George Carlin, Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and dont have time for all that. George Carlin, The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. Board Messages . And generally speaking again it's all generalized the left-of-center people are more concerned with humans and human beings and human concerns; to the care of humans, not the care and worry about property rights. Nothing changed. The cookie is a session cookies and is deleted when all the browser windows are closed. Bing sets this cookie to recognize unique web browsers visiting Microsoft sites. "Conservatives want live babies so they can train them to be dead soldiers. ", 13. "The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. If he wants to just lecture with his opinions then he gets lectured back with other peoples opinions. ", 6. "Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. The video featured audio from George's Wake Up America bit combined with imagery of events and people in today's society. George Carlin's acerbic wit and profound societal insights were a one time cultural phenomenon. ""These days many politicians are demanding change. The cookie is set by Snapchat to show relevant ads to the users by tracking user behaviour on Snapchat. ", 100. The politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice. "Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music. ", 84. This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. Its a big club and you aint in it. "So, have a little fun. The 2023 theme was "cooperation in a fragmented world," with WEF noting, "The world today is at a critical inflection point. Facebook sets this cookie to show relevant advertisements to users by tracking user behaviour across the web, on sites that have Facebook pixel or Facebook social plugin. The Romantic Comedy You Should Watch This Valentines Day, Based On Your ZodiacSign, Valentines Day Streaming Guide: The Best Rom-Coms To Binge On Netflix, HBO Max, AndMore, How Narcissists Use Dog Whistling To Covertly Abuse You: Signs Of This Dangerous ManipulationMethod, 11 Christmas Movies To Watch If Youre Dealing With Heartbreak Over TheHolidays. "One can never know for sure what a deserted area can look like. . 03 Mar 2023 16:21:02 Other uncategorized cookies are those that are being analyzed and have not been classified into a category as yet. George Carlin may be dead, but his spirit lives on. "It's called the American dream . ", 94. The cookie, set by Krux Digital, registers a unique ID that identifies a returning user's device. "Dont just teach your children to read. It sounds like this: What, they have bigger dicks? Forget the politicians. ", 96. This is what we have to offer. ", 88. This data helps to customize website content to enhance user experience. CMPS cookie is set by CasaleMedia for anonymous user tracking based on user's website visits, for displaying targeted ads. I think. I see a glass thats twice as big as it needs to be. George Carlin, How come when its us, its an abortion, and when its a chicken, its an omelette? George Carlin, Laugh often, long and loud. It creates a hostile work environment. George Carlin, The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept. George Carlin, May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. George Carlin, The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. George Carlin, Scratch any cynic, and you will find a disappointed idealist. George Carlin, I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. "It's never just a game when you're winning. This cookie is used to collect data on user behaviour and interaction to make advertisement on the website more relevant. This is set on the first visit of the visitor to the site and updated on subsequent visits. Ice Cube and his political affiliations have been in the spotlight ever since White House senior advisor Katrina Pierson publicly thanked the Friday actor for his help in developing the "Platinum Plan" with Trump officials. ", 98. "I love and treasure individuals as I meet them, I loath and despise the groups they identify or belong to. YouTube sets this cookie via embedded youtube-videos and registers anonymous statistical data. When a . Religion is like a pair of shoes, you have to find the one that fits you. "Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Try spelling Evian backward. Twitter sets this cookie to integrate and share features for social media and also store information about how the user uses the website, for tracking and targeting. You don't. You have no choice! I think I need to show them that I have brought myself to a cleverer, smarter spot than they have.". ", 66. You have no choice. After that, they dont want to know about you. If you're born in America you get a front row seat. These cookies track visitors across websites and collect information to provide customized ads. This cookie is set by Facebook to display advertisements when either on Facebook or on a digital platform powered by Facebook advertising, after visiting the website. You have owners. If you think too much, you will be left behind by everyone. Lobbying, to get what they want. "Governments don't want well-informed, well-educated people capable of critical thinking. I think the life cycle is all backwards. "In America, anyone can become president. You dont. ", 89. "When you step on the brakes, your life is in your foots hands. They don't want to hear from you. Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time. They've got the judges in their back pockets. ", 32. ", 7. This cookie is used for implementing audio files on the website. This anonymous data helps us to better understand users' needs and customize the website accordingly. Weve addedyearstolifenotlife to years. George Carlin, Heres a bumper sticker Id like to see: We are the proud parents of a child whos self-esteem is sufficient that he doesnt need us promoting his minor scholastic achievements on the back of our car. George Carlin, Well, if crime fighters fight crime and firefighters fight fires, what do freedom fighters fight? George Carlin, Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. (LogOut/ "Have you ever wondered why Republicans are so interested in encouraging people to volunteer in their communities? An old clip of George Carlin is gaining new life after this week's reports from the Supreme Court on abortion. What do you get at the end of it? "'I am' is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Full transcript of George Carlin's "Dumb Americans," excerpted from "Life is Worth Losing, his 13th live comedy stand-up special, performed at the Beacon Theatre in New York City for HBO. Related: When it comes to mass shootings, the problem isnt Republicans or the NRA. This cookie is used for storing country code selected from country selector. ", 3. "If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, youre going to have selfish, ignorant leaders. You have owners. "Electricity is really just organized lightning.